My aunt Barb and I have an extraordinary relationship. She was just 16 years old when I was born, but she immediately began to cultivate our bond.
As a toddler, she would take me to the park, and when strangers would comment on “her child”, she would respond as though she was my mom and I her daughter.
Although we lived states apart, my aunt’s words and actions showed me how much she cared for me. She always made me feel special and adored. Best of all, her love was unconditional.
Our relationship evolved over the years. What I am most grateful for is that my aunt allowed our adult – child relationship to completely transition into a peer based friendship. We frequently refer to each other as a “sister – friend – mother – daughter”, because our relationship fulfills so many roles for both of us.
As Barb began having children of her own, her commitment to parenthood took priority, as it should. Our love for each other never faltered. But our ability to finish a conversation, let alone spend quality time together, had diminished greatly! Once I gave birth to my first child, and we were both moms raising children, our inability to complete a sentence at times became almost comical.
With our birthdays being just 12 days apart, every fall we would both pose the annual question “What do you want for your birthday?”. But in 1996 my answer to her birthday inquiry was unexpected and definitely life changing.
I didn’t need or want any material items. My house was filled with more sweaters, jewelry, books and trinkets than I could possibly use or fully appreciate. This time, when she asked me what I wanted for my birthday, my response was TIME. All I wanted was uninterrupted time with her. Time to finish a conversation, time to eat a meal together, time to laugh, time to put each other first, time away from our responsibilities of mommy-hood.
I wanted to give her the gift of my time….and I wanted to receive the gift of her time!
She left her 8 and 11 year old daughters with her husband, and I left my 6 month old son with my guy, and off we went for 24 hours of uninterrupted bliss!
We talked incessantly. We ate excessive amounts of chocolate. We laughed until we snorted, and tears rolled down our legs. We shared secrets. We drank mimosas, because we could. We skipped down the street holding hands. We stayed up way past sunset, and slept well after the sun rose. We lived those 24 hours to their fullest. When we parted, with tears in both our eyes, we vowed to do it again next year.
Every fall since then, we have stayed loyal to our commitment to share the gift of time with each other.
We’ve met at the beach, in the city, and on the mountains. We’ve celebrated in the beating sun, the pouring rain and the whipping wind. We’ve spent time shopping, laying on the beach, getting pedicures and massages, and hiking through the woods. We’ve eaten home cooked concoctions and dined out at 5-star restaurants. We’ve napped in the middle of the day, and watched movies well past the middle of the night. We’ve talked about the frivolous as well as how to solve world peace. We’ve smiled until our faces hurt and laughed until our belly’s ached.
No matter where we go, or what we do, our birthday celebration is always perfect, because we are together!
Today begins the 18th year of this most amazing tradition. There are no surprises. We both know what this weekend will hold – 48 hours of joy, laughter, soul searching, gratitude, story telling, connecting and massive amounts of unconditional love.
The gift of time is priceless! Whether it’s a 30 minute phone call, a 2 hour lunch, a 6 hour evening out, or a weekend together….giving the gift of your time to someone that matters to you, is the best gift you can give, both them and yourself!
Happy Birthday Barb! xoxo
with Joy & Gratitude,
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